Sure, most of my work is divorce, but occasionally, I get to work on something a little cheerier. For example, every now and then, I get to work on one of the happiest events in a person’s life, the adoption of a child.
Adoptions can be open or closed. An open adoption means that the birth parents and the adoptive parents reveal their identities to each other. There is no one model for an open adoption; there are many variations of the degree of openness between the birth parents and the adoptive parent.1
As with everything, there are advantages and disadvantages to an open adoption.
For the birth mother, the advantages include having a sense of control from knowing, interviewing, and picking the adoptive parents; an better ability to deal with the sense of loss that comes from giving up the infant; and the potential to develop a relationship with the child after the adoption. The disadvantages for the birth mom include the potential for disappointment as the reality of the adoptive parent doesn’t meet the “fantasy,” and a feeling of obligation to go through with the adoption when she wants to change her mind.
For the adoptive parents, biggest benefit is the ability to be medically informed, that is, to be familiar with the medical history of the birth mother and perhaps even take part in some of the prenatal care. Other advantages include less anxiety over the birth mother’s intentions (since the adoptive parents are familiar with her) and a feeling of “participation” as you see the birth mother progress through her pregnancy. The birth parents should be aware of the downsides: disappointment if the birth mother later decides she wants less interaction with the child or the adoptive parents, and the necessary of setting boundaries with the birth mother.
Of course, there are advantages and disadvantages for the child as well. In an open adoption, the child receives the benefit of knowing “where did I come from,” and the ability to know his or her family medical history. On the other hand, the openness may result in a difficulty to assimilate into the adoptive family, but this risk is present in a traditional “closed” adoption as well [edited by Tim]. Another problem is the risk of the feeling of rejection should the birth mother later decide she wants to reduce the amount of contact.
If you need help in an adoption, either as the birth parent or the adoptive parent, The Law Office of Timothy J. Evans in Hattiesburg can help. You can call (601) 583-1500 or email Tim Evans.
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Actually research doesn’t bear out that con for the kids. In fact, according to the Mn/Tx Research Project — the longest, largest research project on openness in adoption — shows that adoptees who are raised in open adoptions have a better time integrating their adoption stories into their identities and don’t have anymore trouble assimilating than any other adoptee. The research also shows that open adoption adoptees have better feelings about themselves and about their adoptions. The research project shows that openness is better all the way around.
Dawn’s last blog post..Openness and “primal wound”?
Dawn,
Thanks for pointing me to an additional source. I didn’t mean to imply that difficulty in assimilation was more likely to happen than in a closed adoption, but I can see how it would be read that way. I’ll go back and edit my post to make that clear.