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Recently, a friend made a flippant remark about my job as a lawyer who handles divorces. Don’t get me wrong, I love lawyer jokes, but this didn’t come across so much as a joke as a personal jab.
I guess, among the general public, divorce lawyers are seen a people who encourage marriages to break up for our own personal financial gain and that we spur on disputes within the divorce rather than try to settle everything amicably. For most of the attorneys I know, that could not be further from the truth.
I can only tell you why I do what I do. First, let me get one thing out of the way. Yes, one of the reasons I do this is for the money. I’ve heard people say it on tv, but I’ve never met anyone who would do their job for free. I practice law because of the skill and knowledge I have; I use that skill and knowledge to provide a living for my family.
Lately, I have to admit, I’ve been wondering a lot about why I do what I do, because as a Christian, I believe it is wrong for me to promote divorce. I believe, though, that a lot of marriages are not “what God has joined together.” But, I’m not a theologian, and I wanted to avoid the religious aspects of this topic.
I do what I do because I have seen the woman whose husband literally threw her out of their house for no reason. I do what I do because of the woman who is so addicted to drugs and booze that her kids shouldn’t see her in that condition. I get to see human beings when they are at their worst, either through self-imposed conditions, or because what a family member has done to them. I see them when they have lost hope in everything else in the world. And I help them get better. I help them navigate through the often confusing legal system. I direct them to counselors, pastors, and services that can help their emotional, spiritual, and material needs. I take a broken human being — someone who has lost hope and given up on love, and I point them down the road to recovery. Ultimately, maybe not right away, but eventually, I make peoples’ lives better.
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I also do family law and experience some of the same attitudes you have. You do have a good focus on helping people. I would suggest that you consider Collaborative Law as a means of further helping people. I don’t know if you are trained or even familiar with Collaborative Law, but I use it as often as possible and have found that it is the least destructive approach to divorce and in fact, is often beneficial for the parties when they learn some better communication skills and can work in a safe, creative, productive environment. You need to have several lawyers trained in Collaborative Law in your community in order to practice it, and I hope you will look into it. Clients can really benefit from it. For information, you can check my web site or blog. Keep up the good work.
I agree with your blog. Many times people just don’t understand why I enjoy family law. You stated it succinctly when you stated that (1) you enjoy the money but (2) you take a broken person and help them get their back on track. I sometimes have to take issue with the money aspect because sometimes there just isn’t any money beyond the initial retainer, and I’m sure you have experienced that once the initial retainer is exhausted, you are so far into the divorce that ethically and because of the personal connection with the client it is hard not to see it through. Good post.