We live in an age where, if we believe statistics, 50% or more of marriages end in divorce. So why, if it is so common, is there a stigma associated with it?
My guess is that it’s all part of the competitive nature of our society. People no longer are happy to just keep up with the Joneses, they want to do better than the Joneses. That probably extends to our marriages as well.
Even the traditional marriage vows add to the stigma. According to tradition, marriage is “until death do us part.” Instead, it sometimes seems as it’s until something better comes along.
We–or at least I did, after my divorce–feel like a failure when, after trying your hardest to make it work, one of you finally has had enough and decides to get a divorce. Looking back on my own experience, and looking at those that I help, I can tell you that you shouldn’t feel like a failure, and you definitely shouldn’t hang your head in shame.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying divorce is something desirable or that should be taken lightly; Heaven knows it’s not. I look at it two ways. First, while no one should tear apart “what God has joined together,” many marriages, if we’re completely honest, were not joined by God. Rather than being the product of careful thought, prayer, and love, the marriage was rushed into by a rush of hormones and warm fuzzy feelings. Second, I have yet to see someone who chose divorce rather than giving their marriage all they could. Sometimes, marriages are too damaged for mere mortals to put them back together.
You’re going to hurt; that’s normal. You’re going to feel afraid and alone; that’s normal, too. But it’s important to realize that you’re not alone, and you’re not a failure.
What do you think? Should there still be a stigma associated with divorce?
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