(Note: although I mention several apps in this post, I’m not linking to them. While I think it’s “blog-worthy,” it feels wrong to link to them; like I’m encouraging adultery)

The website AshleyMadison.com, for those who don’t know, is sort of an online dating site for people looking to have affairs. As I understand it, its registered users must be married and are looking to enter a relationship with someone else, with or without their spouse’s permission. My search turned up some old news stories mentioning that the site had an iPhone and Blackberry app, but a search on the iTunes app store did not reveal anything, so I assume it has been removed.

TigerText, which, as of this morning, was still on the app store, allows you to send a text message with a predetermined “lifetime.” After a certain amount of time, or after it is read (the app’s description is almost non-existent, let alone unclear), the text is deleted from both the sender’s phone and the recipient’s.

Don’t assume that there’s only apps to help a cheater, there are also apps to help you catch a cheater.

A quick search on the iTunes app store reveals several iphone trackers that work by using the phone’s built in GPS. I’m not sure how exactly they work since the iPhone does not currently allow background processes by third-party apps.

One company, FlexiSpy, manufactures several apps for smartphones (including Blackberry and the iPhone) that can read SMS, emails, and even put a tap on the phone. I’m not giving any opinion regarding the legality of such software.

Finally, there’s even an app, called “Lie To Me!” that supposedly helps you analyze a person’s eye movements so you can tell if they’re lying while you interrogate them on their cheating ways.

Ain’t technology great?

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1. Bring your tax return. A divorce, in one respect, is the process of separating a legal entity–a marriage–into two separate entities–former spouses. A huge portion of that deals with how to split marital assets and debts. The more assets there are, the more complicated the divorce is likely to be. That’s why your lawyer will want to see the tax return.

It’s not just your lawyer who wants to see it. The rules for chancery courts (the courts in Mississippi that hear divorce cases) require both sides to exchange the previous year’s tax returns (or W-2′s if the previous years taxes have not yet been filed). The court will use this information along with evidence presented to equitably divide the marital property.

2. Complete the financial declaration. This is closely related to bringing your tax returns; if you really want to impress your divorce lawyer, bring your financial declaration to your first appointment. This form is also required by chancery court rules. It will require you to list such information as your assets and liabilities, bank accounts, and income. Like your tax returns, this is required to be exchanged with the other side. You can find a blank financial declaration here.

3. A timeline of your marital problems. This is easier to prepare if you’re the spouse who wants the divorce. If you’re not, you may have been surprised when you found out about the divorce. I know I was in mine. Once you get over the surprise, though, you will probably be able to look back and see particular events or troubles that were red flags your marriage was headed to divorce. Either way, this will help your divorce attorney evaluate your case to see if you have fault-based grounds for a divorce or if your only option is an irreconcilable differences divorce. The order in which events occurred is important because you may lose certain grounds depending on the events that followed them.

4. The truth. People come to lawyers for help, but often fail to be totally honest with their lawyer. This can only hurt your case. Almost every divorce lawyer has a “war story” where they were blind sided by something their client admitted to during cross-examination. When later asked why they withheld the information, the client usually says they didn’t think it was important. This is going to sound arrogant, but you found a divorce lawyer because he or she knows more of the law then you do. You do not know what is important or what isn’t! If you beat your spouse, admit it to your lawyer. If you cheated on your spouse, admit it to your lawyer.The sooner your divorce attorney learns the facts that hurt you, the sooner he or she can deal with them. The sooner the bad facts are dealt with, the less they will probably matter when the judge hears them. You won’t make your lawyer think less of you. They’ve seen all kinds long before they saw you.

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Statistics confirm this. The Sun recently published the results of one researcher who found, in a database of 5,000 divorce filings, 989 instances of the term “Facebook.” If my math’s correct, that’s 19.78%. Reportedly, other social networking sites were also frequently found in the database.

I guess some people are taking Facebook’s suggestions to reconnect with old friends a little too literally. Do you think social networking is leading to more martial infidelity? Tell me about it in the comments.

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For example, I believe establishing visitation on the first, third, and (when applicable) fifth weekends of the month to be preferable than saying visitation is to take place every other weekend. That way, you can look at a calendar and instantly tell when visitation is to take place as opposed to having count out weekends. Also, I think you need to define how to determine to which month a weekend belongs when a new month starts during the weekend.

A recent decision by the Mississippi Court of Appeals lends some support to my way of doing things. That court recently reviewed the Madison County case of Benal v. Benal. In that case, the judge failed to order specific visitation because that issue had not been submitted to the court for consideration.

Citing an earlier case, the Court of Appeals found that a specific visitation schedule must be addressed by the trial court if the issue of custody is submitted for resolution (the court may adopt the visitation schedule agreed upon by the parties). The Court of Appeals did not address how specific the schedule must be, and that will probably be the eventual subject of another case.

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There are processes where a true emergency may be heard by a court in a matter of days. Even in these cases, though, this is just an initial hearing, and it must soon be followed up within a few days with another hearing to give due process to the other party.

The most certain deadline I can give a client is when it concerns a non-contested divorce where all factors are agreed upon by the husband and wife. In such a case, the divorce may be finalized by the Court 60 days after filing the Joint Complaint for Divorce. That doesn’t mean on day 60 the divorce will be granted, though. Chancery court judges are assigned to districts which contain more than one county, and the judges rotate between counties. Some months, the judge to which the case has been assigned may not hear cases in that county. In such a situation, it may be possible to get the case heard in another county, but I think you can now understand that it is unlikely to happen exactly on day 60.

In other cases, it largely depends on how complicated the case is. Additionally, there is the court’s calendar to consider. Courts usually “overbook” trials because most settle before court. However, if you’re not the “first setting” and a trial before you goes forward, you may have to get a new trial date. Add to all of this the complication of finding a date that (at least) two attorneys have available. All of these factors work to slow down “the wheels of justice” to some degree.

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